It's difficult to do that when you're dependent on someone to make you feel secure. "In healthy relationships, both partners should feel energized and continue growing as people," she says. What type of activities bring you joy? What calms you down when you're feeling anxious? If you realize that you're more emotionally dependent on your partner than in love, registered clinical counselor, Jordan Pickell, MCP, tells Bustle that you can begin to step out of this pattern by learning ways to self-soothe. You just have things you may need to work on. It doesn't always mean that you need a ton of attention in order to be happy. But when you truly love someone, you can't expect them to do things for you.īeing emotionally dependent on your partner doesn't mean you're a bad partner. For the most part, unconditional love takes time. "If there are things that you would like your partner to do for you, you ask them and explain why," they say. Your feelings shouldn't vary day-to-day depending on what your partner does or doesn't do for you. "In a relationship that is based on love and one another’s personal growth, you love one another no matter what," the Michems say. For example, if you feel that you can only love your partner if they meet your expectations, that's not a great sign. So are you actually in love or just emotionally dependent on your partner? Here's how you can tell if you might be emotionally dependent, according to experts.Įxpression of conditional love is a huge sign that you are in an emotionally dependent relationship, the Mitchems say. The fear of losing it becomes greater than the ability to just love." "People who are emotionally dependent on the relationship, worry about their relationship status, tend to feel insecure, and will cling on to the relationship for dear life. "People in love don’t have to fight that hard to keep the relationship alive," she says. They don't worry about how long they should wait to respond or what words would make them seem more interesting. Instead, Spira says those who are genuinely in love, enjoy being in touch and welcome all forms of communication. But it shouldn't make you feel super anxious. Love can make you do some pretty unusual things. ![]() In short, they'll look for meaning in things that don't really matter. They may wonder about the response time and why it took longer than usual. For instance, when it comes to texting, they might analyze the punctuation marks and the type of words that are used. These are the type of partners who tend to "catastrophize" every detail. "Couples who are emotionally dependent on their partner and aren’t in love, tend to be in love with the idea of being in love," Julie Spira, Dating and Relationship Expert, tells Bustle. ![]() But are you mistaking attachment for love? According to experts, it's important to know for sure if you want to prevent yourself from falling into negative relationship patterns. Because of that, people can confuse being in love for something else like lust or compatibility. ![]() It's hard to truly define what being in love feels like because it's different for everyone.
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